pondering life….

life thru my eyes..

Archive for June, 2008

Why?

Posted by Madhuresh on June 7, 2008

                 “Life has been rough in past few days”. And With pavan leaving for pune i started feeling lonely. I missed every single second spent. Those 4 years of engineering rather 3 yrs was all i could think off..i got soo frustated cos i was doing just that missing something. Hoping, though there are many friends here but i dunno y i feel so lonely maybe cos i dont appreciate what i have and crib abt what i dont.

None the less I have completely changed and now when i think about it feels a lil sad cos i feel no joy, no excitment any more…

Its bad new for vodafone as my phone bill has being going down month by month, i hardly talk or message.

Life is asking me so many questions these days and i am currently searching for answers………….

Last sunday when i read this article in TOI almost found answer to some of my questions…………………

Its amazing how human adaptability works as a wonderfull tool..we adapt to anything and everything in between birth and death. we may greive, pine, be shocked, hearthbroken, or convinced things will never be the same again.

How many times dont u say to urself its just for some time after that life will become normal but that normal means adapting to the situation.( I am sure many of US/India frnds think that way)

Life goes on, tears give away to smiles, shock to compromise and refusal to a grudging acceptance….The wistfulness regarding the loss of things of life can almost be as painfull as the bigger losses, and yet we adapt to every circumstance–most often, because we have no choice, but sometimes because we choose to move on.

 I could never imagine my house without my grand mom, she was the whole and soul of the family amazing lady( will post some other time abt her). Its more than a year and a half since she left us..and not much has changed though we all miss her but we adapt to the change

The comfort of childhood ( hum jab choote the kitna aram tha, no tension, no nothing.. everyone want to get back to those days),

sticky swetness of candies( those choco’s and candys..outside our school there was a person selling mangoes(raw) we used to call it keri(mamidikay in telugu) sold at 25pcs each peice, as a remember this i can still feel the taste), the peaceful quiet of school church, whispered nothings between friends, mom’s warmly scented hug at the doorway, the first bi-cycle ride..and many such events–are all still there but we have adapted ourselves to outgrow them.

Then there are things we cant always do much about. The loss of loved ones, cruelty around us, crimes of passion and hatred

(my mind boggles at the no. of murders that are happening plus to add to it the media. A huge cry uproar when body parts of children were found at maninder’s house, protests, police, media, protest, this that..no one even talks abt it now everything is calm and quiet, except for those who lost their loved ones,

latest incidents like chopping of a human (Mr. grover) into 300 peices..what shocks me is not that he was choped but by the press statement by syenrgy adlabs He was not working on sarkjar raj”. Have these people goone mad or something…. 

Other day in the neighbourhood kid was asking it was so innocent..”mama why are they arresting that person, he is a father, how can he kill his daughter?”questions tat are very difficult to anwser)..

And yet, give it a few days and the mind starts accepting as a reality the most horrifying crimes.

Dude qutoa’s are getting implemented..huge strikes..this, tat and wat all not..and now we all forget. i am not blaming anyone but just pointing out that we adapt ourselves to the environment.

How strange na and that is when i realized that when i say “missing u frnd” to a frnd far away whom i really miss..though he understands and responds also but that adaptabilty to him makes a difference. This answered one of the major questions in my life. That people dont ignore me or have forgotten about me its just that they have got busy in their life and once i also get busy i will no longer miss them..though i will remember them, but tat missing will not be there doesnt mean that i hav e forgotten them!!!

The fear of people forgetting you is horrible than people actually forgetting u( Hope u understood) cos if u ask other person have u forgoten me, how could u forget my birthday etc..they send a shocker reply..cos they have not forgotten u but just tat they dont remember u that often..Remembering and forgeting are different things and complicated.Doesnt make sense??its a little difficult..dont read again if you dont understand..

 There are soo many things i wanted to tell but i dont have words neither i am cleared off as to exactly how to tell all i knew that i wanted to write abt how well we adapt and its not that we forget things we just dont remember it tat often.

hope this makes some sense to people reading.

 signing off

chao

 

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