pondering life….

life thru my eyes..

Archive for April, 2009

Retrospection…

Posted by Madhuresh on April 30, 2009

Hi,

Off lately there have been many incidents that have made me think and to a level that i have never ever thought about. One of which was my bro’s engagement party. I was in a big fix WHOM DO I INVITE?? A

This was a very difficult thing for me because i have always been poor in prioritizing thing or making lists i want to have best of both the worlds. And that’s  probably the reason i keep pushing things to last minute so that the decision can be delayed.

One more thing i can never do is say “NO”. Cannot see people around me unhappy cause of a ‘NO’ from me. However because of circumstances one has to be strong and adamant and say a ‘NO’ or putting in a better way its not NO, its just a choice.

With this definitely people will get unhappy but then friends will understand. This was a perfect solution and with this aim i decided to invite few friends. The list kept of growing. The more i thought the more confusion. And my mind came up with these things “I can’t help it, it’s not my engagement “He/she didnt invite me why should i” to run away from the guilt. Which i eventually managed to.

After the engagement had passed my guilt came back to haunt. Thoughts like

  • Why didnt u invite him/her?.
  • He/She is feeling real bad about this and has stopped talking to me
  • How do i apologize?

I recollected a small incident at that time.  One of my close friend could not invite me to meets his niece due to some reason of his. Instead of understanding him i felt angry “how can he forget me?”.

He called me. And from my voice he sensed it. He was quick to apologize. Suddenly i felt good. Was that sorry so important for me? I feel SHIT abt me if it was. Luckily for me he understood my feelings. And now i thank him. Later we meet our weekend and things were the same again

When i recollected this i felt very bad myself. I Wanted to apologies to him. For not understanding his situation. But as people say “At times is always good to leave the things in past“.  We always want to get what we have given(for E.g:- I am the one always calling, but u dont take my calls, dont message me..not fair) and thinking abt it…

Irealized that

One should not think of what has happened, but why has that happened “Its not about NO, Its about understanding why NO”. Its very difficult to look at things from others point of view but its important to make an effort to think from his view.

I dont know if i will follow this and behave like GYAN has struck me. But definitely shall be more practical and open.

One thing is for sure i will try not to expect back things just because i have given something. Expecting things back is not wrong but just because u gave him doesnt mean he should give it to you.

P.S: In case i have hurt any of YOU(my friends) and failed to understand you. I am sorry.

PS: I know its not required but i still cant stop feeling guilty about not inviting people. So incase if i had called you for the party,  i am sure u will understand me!

Thanks

Take care

Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments »